Brandon Sanders "Many Afflictions"
Brandon Sanders was born into a very violent, chaotic, and crazy world. I watched the brutal murder of my mother by my own father as a child. This left me and my 3 sisters alone and confused. We finally landed in a foster home where we were allowed to stay together but the violence and chaos still existed. I was a very confused,angry and fearful young man. I never learned how to live, only how to survive. I began drinking at an early age ,10 or 11, and was a full blown alcoholic by the age of 13. I eventually began to fight back against the abuse inflicted upon my sisters and I in the Foster home and began my journey through the system. Juvenile Detention, Adolescent Behavioral Hospitals (psyche centers), group homes etc. My drinking led me into other drugs, marijuana, etc. At the age of 18 I was released to care for myself and became a drifter. I continued to engage in the wild life finding my identity in music, drugs and liquor. I was an alien, a dead man walking, my world was dark and lonely. I was always looking for the deeper meaning of life and this led me on a search for the "truth". I found no substance or meaning in anything and ended up desperate, hopeless and suicidal. I was snorting powder cocaine and eventually began smoking coc. This left me even more hopeless and I gave up on myself and life. My life was crazy and out of control, I had a me against the world mentality, in and out of jail, unable to cope with life itself. One night while smoking crack in a motel room I was complicating suicide and I began to cry out to God. I was a broken man, my life was in shambles, I laid on the bathroom floor of this drug infested motel weeping, sobbing. I was tired of fighting the demons in my life, I was weak, I was tired of living a masquerade, sick of living a lie, fed up with the shame and the guilt that held me in bondage. I had tried to find my identity,my place in this world, I tried to find it in women, jobs, money, clothes, my whole life was one big deception. As I lay there shaking in my boxers, tears streaming down my face I heard a voice in my heart and it said "One more day, get up and try one more time." I felt hope rise up inside me, a peaceful strength that nudged me forward. A part of me died that night. The part that had led me down a road of hatred and self-destruction. I tried to get high a few times after this but something in me was different. God heard my cries that night and rescued me from a living hell. Since then He has showed me my life was a preparation for the work He would have me do for His glory. To give hope to the hopeless, to love the unlovable, and lead the captives to freedom. I'm living on bought time, time bought with blood. The precious blood of Jesus Christ. I now die daily so that Christ can live in and through me and I'm so grateful for His grace, long suffering, His mercy and His love. If anyone reading this doesn't know the true depths of Jesus, the true value of your life in Him, or the true love He has for us, please contact me. We need to talk.
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